Curtain Call

Well well well.. the semester is over!

With the voice "pens down" being projected into the hall and "you may leave" following that... Choruses of "Yay"! were heard in the exam hall. So my papers have ended, so have the semester and the academic year. The year has been good. I have learnt alot, seen alot and grown too. Thank God for placing me where I am for I cant imagine being anywhere else. Im grateful for the events that happened for the entire AY. Though Im really injury prone this semester.

But somehow I feel a sense of loss. I dont know what I am going to do for the holidays. Quite un-like me I must say. Usually Im ultra-organised and my holiday schedule will be out even before the exams. This time round, I am really living day to day.

The usuals like attending courses like : 2 star kayaking, climbing instructor, sailing . Attending camps like the OGL and PESS outdoor camps.. Meeting up with friends to catch up.

Sigh.. somehow I feel that I am still where I was last year and though I've grown as a person, certain aspects of my life remain status quo. I still cant answer certain questions, still cant figure out some stuff and still thinking really hard about it.

Anyway I hate threes. They say two's a couple and three's a crowd. How very true!
And I can safely say that Im in more threes than most people man.. About 6 or 7?
The loner in me says I can deal with it.. Suck it up andhandle it in my usual "Mr Congeniality" way. But I guess its getting the better of me and I dont know how to deal with it.

Sometimes I think hey so what if I can really study? So what if I really get my honours (though I would love to) So what if I get all the outdoor certs in the world? So what If im the best Adventure Racer or Ultimate player? End of the day I feel that Ive gotten nothing. And by the way, we cant choose where we were born at, so look around you and count your blessings. If things arent going well domestically..just your luck.. we just got to work around it, ask me.. I know full well..

Nothing man! Really. . Suddenly to know is to know that you dont know.
So that you want to find out more and know. Then you finally know. I think its not just got to do with contentment, its got to do with fulfilment as well. With the kids, I can see how they pick up skills, learn about values and new things. Im happy about that. But this days in school, its all just about this and that of self-improvement.

Maybe there's more to it out there that I can ever find.
Hey who knows?! Maybe my destiny is to be the hardcore maverick/enigma PE teacher that is just meant to do the hardcore stuff as a loner..

Only time will tell...